“The worst thing it can do is bite you.”
“That sounds pretty bad to me” I watch the snake that hisses from my coordinator’s shoulders. “What happens if it does?”
He shrugs “You’ll probably go: “auch!” ” He simulates a horrified expression, waves his arms and laughs at himself. “But hey, no worries, I’ll keep this one; you clean the enclosure. Great deal.”
I look from the greenish snake to the tools, and back again. I smile “hand it over”.
Shit, shit, shit. Don’t look at it, don’t look at it.
The snake is smooth and cold. It coils around me. For some reason I expected it to be slimey, but it wasn’t. “Okay, push the head back if you feel it gets too close to your face, yeah like that.”
“So is this one of the snakes you have because it showed up in someone’s bathroom?”
“You mean like the croc that showed up in someone’s pool? No, this one we have to teach our visitors the difference between dangerous snakes and really dangerous snakes.”
“In which categor-”
“But alrightie, all done. Here, I’ll take that. You said something about hoping to take a selfie with a kangaroo, right? I’ll show ya.”
Once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime.