I was standing next to my unconscious patient, when it happened. Grey dots gathered; blurring my vision. Breathe, I told myself. I knew I needed to let the others know what was happening, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even slide down to the floor. All I could do was to hold on to the operating table. Everything went black.
Anyone fancy a makeover?
And you would think I passed out. But I didn’t. No, instead I was caught in this strange inbetween. I was completely powerless, but I could still hear the nurses and doctors talking. I couldn’t make out the words they were saying, but I held on to their voices. I was not going to become the student that fainted before the operation even started.
Eventually one of them noticed that I had gone white as snow. I was placed in a chair, and up my legs went. My ears were ringing, and I was blinking like crazy. Blind as blind can be. Slowly, ever so slowly, the world came back to me. I could make out “you’re not the first one.” Gradually, shadows replaced darkness, and grey figures replaced shadows.
I sat outside for several minutes afterwards, watching my feet.
I can’t explain why it happened. Perhaps it was the new smells. Perhaps it was the face-mask. Perhaps it was my sky-high expectations. I’d been looking forward to the operation for so long – imagine how I felt when I messed up so early on. I was scared they wouldn’t let me come back in. However, after dutifully drinking several glasses of juice, they did.
And for the five and a half hours the operation took – I actually enjoyed myself immensely.
I can’t believe that it’s already been two months since school started. I can’t believe that it’s just 10 weeks to my last exam. Time passes by so quickly, too quickly, and there’s so much to learn. There’s so much to experience.
Such as watching Zombie-walks!
I underestimated the difficulty of nursing studies. I never thought it would be easy, but I never thought it would be this difficult either. When I started I was prepared for having to read a lot, but I didn’t foresee my own reaction to several of the topics. I didn’t foresee my own need to feel good at what I’m going to work with in the future. I need to know that my patients will be as good taken care of in my hands as they would be in my colleagues’.
By what you just read you would think I spend all my time reading. However, I have a great deal of fun too. Probably more than I should. I love the freedom of being on my own. I love solving all the minor problems that pop up. I love making my own mistakes, even the ones I said I’d never do.
Rumor has it I washed something red with my light-colored clothes…
Blogging and studying is getting problematic, but as I still love to interact with you; to share and receive – I’ll continue doing it anyway. I think there will be more picture-posts in the future though, and maybe I’ll post more seldom. I hope you are all well and enjoying your everyday!
Warning: This post contains a real heart.
I dissected a heart this week. It’s strange how this fist-sized pump keeps us alive. Lubb-dupp. Lubb-dupp. An avarage of 72 beats per minute. Lubb-dupp, lubb-dupp. It smells bad and looks nothing like the drawings I drew as a child.
Have you ever listened to your own heartbeat? It’s surreal.
The circulatory system is one of my favorite chapters so far (#NursingStudent). Genetics was fun too, but this is different. Its complexity is overwhelming: veins and arteries, electric signals and the bloodstream working perfectly together. One abnormality away from falling apart.
Beware who you give your heart to – it’s the most precious thing you’ve got.
Lubb-dupp. To me, heartbeats are like music. It can be as pleasant as the laughter of someone you love, or as horrible as their screams. When you listen to a healthy heart it is calming, when you listen to a sick one – your own heart beats faster, as if it can help the sick one pump.